


"when did it all change"

by potatolesbian



Series: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, Kuroo Tetsurou-centric, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27455416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potatolesbian/pseuds/potatolesbian
Summary: Day 1: Unrequited Love
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, kuroken (one-side)
Series: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2005972
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	"when did it all change"

Kuroo liked Hinata as a person, he really did. And he could see why a lot of people would like him as well. Not only was he kind, a big ball of energy and looked like the reincarnation of the sun but was also very driven, hard-working and passionate to the point it was actually inspiring to see him grow and improve. He can see why people liked him, he can see why Kenma liked him. 

Although he could understand why Kenma liked him so much, it didn’t stop him from being a bit bitter. It didn’t stop him from being bitter about the fact that Hinata was able to bring a side of Kenma that he hadn’t been able to for years. It didn’t stop him from being bitter about how he had to work through for years to get Kenma to finally open up to him but Hinata didn’t even have to try. It didn’t stop him from being bitter knowing that he wouldn’t be able to get Kenma to look at him the same way he looked at Hinata.

Often times he wanted to cling onto that bitterness. He wanted to hate Hinata for getting Kenma to want him without even trying. He wanted to get angry at Kenma and ask him what Hinata had that he just didn’t. He wanted to get mad and upset with himself for even trying to be with Kenma all these years.

But he remembers the look on Kenma’s face.

Kenma never was the one to come forward and talk about his feeling but Kuroo knew. He remembers seeing the excitement in his eyes when Hinata was on the court playing. He remembers the sincerity in his tone when he was complimenting or praising Hinata. He remembers the way his ears perked up whenever someone even mentioned Hinata. He remembers the way his nose scrunched because god forbid anyone says anything bad about his Hinata. He remembers Kenma carefully watching and analyzing every move Hinata made as if he was watching a new game and trying to figure out how to win. 

“Shoyo asked me out.” He remembers those words. The small smile on his face, the way his eyes looked relieved and happy. He remembers. And he knew, at that time he knew that’s what mattered. Kenma’s happiness. So although he wanted to get mad, angry, upset. He chose to swallow it all up and say, “Go for it. I think he’s good for you.”

And it was fine. He was willing to try to let go and move on cause he knew one day he’ll wake up and realize he was fine. He knew one day he would look at Kenma and only see him as a friend in a loving relationship with another boy and statement wouldn’t hurt him anymore. He knew his friendship with Kenma was more important than his feelings. He knew Kenma valued him as much as he valued him back. He knew that much.

So when did it all change?

It was fine for the first year or two. He was still in contact with Kenma after graduation. They had traditionally called each other at least once to talk about their day. He would go to visit Kenma or Kenma would come over to his house at least twice a month. He would often hang out with Nekoma like old times. Sometimes he would hang out with Kenma and Hinata as well. At one point it had gotten easier to hang out with Hinata as well. At one point he would be able to tease Kenma about Hinata. He would still talk to Kenma about his failed dates. He would still scold Kenma about playing video games till 3 AM. 

Everything was still back to normal. Everything was getting better. 

So when did it all change?

Maybe it was during the time he got too hung up on college work and Kenma was too hung up about getting into college as well as maintaining his relationship. Maybe he hadn’t noticed the late-night conversation slowly turn into one hour to thirty minutes to five to nothing. Maybe he didn’t notice the way Kenma stopped replying to his texts, not even with a one-word reply. Maybe he didn’t know that him not being able to be there for Kenma had caused Kenma to look for comfort and reassurance in something else or someone else. Maybe he didn’t know that he stopped reminding himself to go visit Kenma at least once and Kenma stopped reaching out to him. Maybe he didn’t realize he hadn’t heard about Kenma’s life for almost months now and that they both slowly stopped paying attention to each other. Maybe he didn’t see the way they were drifting apart, the way they slowly stopped prioritizing each other, the way they slowly disappeared from each other’s life.

Maybe it was because of him. Maybe it was because of Kenma. Maybe both. Maybe neither.

One thing he just knew, as he was seeing the headlines about YouTuber Kozume Kenma and MSBY Black Jackals Hinata Shoyo new engagement announcement, that he would do anything to go back. To find out what even went wrong, to fix what needed to be fixed. To have Kenma back in his life. 

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm late to haikyuu angst week but here!!


End file.
